Ugh! That Panda is really really tricky. Last year he made me ransacked the whole house to find his anniversary gift. And he did it again this time. Pretending for weeks that he didn’t buy me any gifts this Christmas, the teaser was finally out last Saturday.

Panda: You want to know a secret?
Me: What?
Panda: There’s a hidden gift for you in this house *evil grin*
Me: *gasp* No way! Where?

Of course hidden gift means that it’s, well, hidden. Alas, my treasure hunt skill proved a big failure again and I needed a very obvious clue to finally find it. And it really was a surprise.

Tada!!

Thanks, dear! *muah*

And thanks to an angel who helped Panda with the shopping. Love ya!

Today is a twilight zone. This is the term that we used to describe a particularly quiet day where there seemed to be less people in the world and everyone was moving about silently. And today is such day.

Come to think of it, this week has been kind of a twilight zone too. Each day passes very slowly and weekend seems to be forever far away. I normally like Thursday because it means weekend is coming, but today still feels like Monday. *blah*

I am so totally broke now.

In the past week itself I have ordered wire cutter and magic crimper from US (can’t find them here), some Miyuki seed beads from Japan (can’t find them here too), two beads storage boxes with adjustable divider (don’t know why I bought them but looks like they may come handy one day). Not to mention paying an arm and a leg to renew my passport, a Birkenstock, and the shopping spree in Chinatown today (the damage: 1 pants and 2 tops). Balance for this month: $18.86

I am so totally dead now.

Today is tough. I can barely keep my eyes open, have no mood to work, and a stoopid someone wants me to call him without saying the reason. How I wish I were at home now.

One more day to weekend.

Here is a rough guide of which crochet hook and thread to use with various bead size.

Lately, I’m crazy about bead crochet and started digging more information about it. One of pre-requisite of bead crocheting is to have all the seed beads strung on the thread. Yes, all hundreds or thousands of those tiny round thingies and I really don’t enjoy doing it. Some people say it’s relaxing and therapeutic but it’s just driving me nuts.
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water cooling towers

Last Saturday I joined the lampworking class at Glassil and it was really fun! I used to wonder why handmade glass beads are so expensive. Then I borrowed a bead making book and realised there are a lot of things involved in making a single bead, the most important being skill. Now that I have hands-on experience, hats off to all lampwork artists out there! I couldn’t even make the hole centered *blah*

Anyway, below are the results of the 3-hour class. The first picture shows beads done by the instructor, and the second one shows my murky, lopsided beads

If everyone jumped off the cliff, would you jump too?

In most cases the answer should be ‘no’, especially if it’s your mom asking unless you love being grounded for giving cheeky answer. But after my friends start to pop babies one by one, I couldn’t help but think maybe I should jump too. Maybe there is something I miss out because none of them regret jumping in the first place.

The process actually started years ago when my school mates starting to produce their offsprings. That time I was still a young graduate who thought I’d forever be in my 20s and babies were something only grown-ups would think about. Now that the big three-o has hit me, conscience hits me even harder and the question of should-I-or-shouldn’t-I has never been more pressing. At times I would feel panic just thinking that by the time my future kids reach 25, the age where they can be independent, I’d be in my retirement age. Will I be able to give them what it takes to survive the life?

Money is not the main issue here. I’m sure we can manage even if I leave my job. It’s the logistics that worries me. Anyone who know our living style will be able to testify that I don’t (or seldom) cook, don’t clean the house every day (not even every week), do laundry only when I’m running out of clothes, and our house spells disaster for babies and toddlers with so many things lying around the floor. And I’m not a multitasker nor a morning person, the absolute mandatory requirements for becoming a mom.

Although not the main issue, money is of course still an issue. I don’t feel comfortable relying on one income as job security is practically non-existent nowadays. If I leave my job now to raise our kids, I doubt I will be able to get a job down the years. I had enough trouble explaining the 9-month gap in my resume last year, let alone few years gap. And then there is this migration to Aussie thing. Is it a good idea to bring a baby to a new country where even us not sure what’s in there for us?

So the debate continues in my head while the clock is ticking as it has been for years …

91 Bencoolen St
#01-10 Sunshine Plaza
Singapore 189652

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103 Arab Street
Singapore 199799

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