Finally A received the employment package information for the new job and it is lower than what we expected. Hence the dilemma. On one hand, information received from various sources suggests that the amount is more than enough for a family to survive, some even can do with much less. But on the other hand, our calculation shows that it is only barely enough. And that doesn’t take into account paying our current mortgage to keep the house. So we wondered if we calculated it wrongly? How much do we really need? Although I believe that somehow we will survive, we don’t want to go there just to find out we can’t have decent life. ‘Decent’ doesn’t mean renting lavish apartment and going out for dinner in fancy restaurant every weekend, but rather not having to worry about food and basic necessities and not having to cheat their system (e.g metro, trams) just to squeeze few more dollars.

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Few days ago I had an interview with a recruitment agency for a data analyst position in a foreign MNC. I had no experience in that but the interview sounded promising with the agent saying that the competition should not be that high. If shortlisted, I should have the 1st round of interview by the end of next week.

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All these put me in an uncomfortable situation. At first we thought it would take another 6 months or so to settle all the documents necessary. So I proposed that if I got this job or there’s a promising job opportunity by the end of January, I asked for 1 year to work here for some experience and will only join him after that. So far A didn’t say anything to object this but he also never explicitly agree with it. That makes me a little bit frustrated because the impression that I get is he’s reluctant but doesn’t want to admit it. So far I’ve asked him 3 times and still no definite answer.

However, today we found out that we have to make our decision by the end of next week and it may take only 3 months to settle the documents. That changes everything. Now I have to say no if the agency came back to me and offer an interview because there’s no point going and hoping to get a job if I’ll be leaving in 3 months. But A doesn’t see it that way. To him it’s perfectly ok. He just doesn’t see that it will cause inconvinience for both the company and me. Although relationship between a company and its employees is very mechanical nowadays, I still feel guilty doing that. They will have to start from scratch again finding a new employee, and I also have to face my boss even before the probation period ends. That’s just doesn’t feel right. I can’t even write this employment in my resume.

I know there’s no guarantee that I will even get this job. But I hate to put my hope on something while knowing it will not last. I might as well put my time and energy worrying about something else.

And while I’m writing this, we are nowhere closer to making decision.